Friday, August 14, 2009

Time May Change Me... by Mike Faloon & Steve Ryenolds

Overheard one afternoon at the Zisk office in midtown Manhattan…

Steve: So Mike, it’s the 10th anniversary of Zisk this summer. Can you believe it?

Mike: It’s amazing. If we keep this up, soon we’ll catch Go Metric in number of issues produced.

Steve: Wow. I never thought that would happen, especially after we survived that lawsuit from Barry Bonds back in 2000. I still can’t believe he sued you in an attempt to make sure you never attended one of his games ever again. He really thought you had cursed him.

Mike: Yeah, and now look—10 years later he’s the one in court. Jerk.

Steve: Indeed. It’s amazing how things have changed in baseball over the past decade.

Mike: Yeah, back in ’99 you could buy a ticket for Shea Stadium for under ten dollars. At Citi…dammit, Gil Hodges Stadium, they charge you 10 bucks just for saying “Jackie Robinson rotunda.”

Steve: You couldn’t pay me $10 to say something positive about this year’s Mets team. In ’99 the Mets had the most exciting team with the best infield in baseball—Olerud at first, Alfonzo and Ordonez up the middle and Robin Ventura at third. In ‘09 the Mets have the most exciting disabled list in baseball.

Mike: True, but it’s not all about the Mets. Remember how in 1999 people said that 36-year-old Jamie Moyer was over the hill? Now they say that 46-year-old Jamie Moyer is older than the hill.

Steve: He was just replaced in the Phillies’ rotation by Pedro Martinez.

Mike: A former Met, who led the team’s resurgence back in ’05 and ’06. Oy, the Mets. Let’s talk about another team.

Steve: How about their main rivals these days, the Phillies? Yeah, they never had to worry about Moyer using steroids to extend his career. Or how about the Cardinals? Back in 1999 St. Louis had a slugging first baseman that people figured was on steroids but just tried to ignore it. Right now St. Louis has a slugging first basemen….well, let’s just say people still want to ignore it.

Mike: Mets fans especially. Pujols kills them. What else was happening a decade ago when we started Zisk?

Steve: The Yankees were on their way to winning their second straight World Series crushing everyone in sight with a killer lineup that overshadowed their marginal pitching.

Mike: Except Mariano.

Steve: Who owned the Mets.

Mike: Still does. And Jeter. Killed the Mets back then.

Steve: Still does. Same with Chipper.

Mike: Lawrence may be the supreme Met killer. Is there anyone who doesn’t perform exceedingly well when facing the Mets?

Steve: Mo Vaughn. Roberto Alomar.

Mike: Who the Mets later acquired.

Steve: What about managers? Joe Torre’s moved on.

Mike: To the Dodgers, who are 5-1 against the Mets this year.

Steve: (slaps head) Have you ever seen Groundhog Day?

No comments: