Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Off Season Digest #6: Pitching Changes

So, let me get this straight, the Mets, plagued with too many pitchers at the backend of the rotation, traded away Jae Seo and Kris Benson, but kept Victor Zambrano? I'm not saying Jae or Kris were like the Groucho or Harpo of the Mets hurlers, but Zambrano is like the Slappy Marx of the group, the half-witted step-brother who was never even part of the family act. Let's just hope that at least one of the three relief pitchers acquired from the Dodgers and Orioles pans out. Just don't count on it being Julio Lugo, a man whose ERA has gone up every year for the past 12 seasons.

And with Kris Benson gone we must bid farewell to his wife Anna. She was supposed to light up the back pages of the tabloids with her controversial remarks, but came up short. She tried, we have to give her that, she really did try to work her "Rush Limbaugh without the charm" shtick, but her choice of targets was comically inept. She called Michael Moore fat, which is like going after Shaq because he's tall. Then, pulling out all the stops, she went after PETA. That's People For the Ethical Treatment of Animals, in case you've forgotten. In the year 2005 Anna set her sights on PETA, bragging about her fur collection and her preference for meat. Okay, so maybe one of the Indigo Girls was irked, but did anyone else take notice? If it's publicity you want, is PETA the group to start a fight with? I never even heard about the quote until this past weekend. What's next, Anna, making fun of Bill Macy for his work on Maude?


Anonymous said...

I read in SI how much Mrs. Benson is looking forward to "christening Camden Yards." Ick.

Jeff Herz said...

Jorge Julio or Jorge Lugo?

Jeff Herz said...

Jorge Julio, or jorge lugo?