Monday, September 03, 2007

Crazy Keith's Corner: Sharks, Pedro & 7-11

To paraphrase Feist, "1,2,3,4, tell me that you'll win some more." A five game winning streak would be nice and a first for this season. It would also makes sense if this team lost their next three in a row.

Maybe the return of Pedro means all the world to this team. Who knows? I've given up trying to figure them out. Thankfully we have Keith at these games to talk about Coney Island and oral sex.

(One more Pedro note before we get to the Keith highlights: I don't think I've ever heard a pitcher thank so may people after going through rehab. He sounded genuine when even talking about the minor leaguers he faced. It was a pretty classy post-game speech to these ears.)

--Keith is concerned for Mr. Red
(Mr. Red is prominently displayed behind home plate, inspiring this discussion.)
Gary: Have they thought about some orthodonture for Mr. Red?
Keith: Has he got any tonsils in there?

--Keith likes Pedro's comeback
Keith: He just has a little more than the average bear.

--Keith watches the news on the road
Keith: Did you see the sharks at Coney Island?
Gary: Well, there's always been sharks at Coney Island
Keith: There was one that was six feet long--and they even got footage of it.
Gary: You mean footage of the ones in the water.
Keith: Ah, yes. But I was amazed. I didn't need a coffee after I saw that.

--Keith and Gary have dirty minds
Gary: The new Reds pitcher is Jon Coutlangus.
Keith: Oh, oh, yeah. We mean it with that name.
Gary: Yes, it's very carefully pronounced.
Keith: That's a tongue twister, isn't it?
(10 seconds of silence)

1 comment:

Theresa said...

Yes, great game, great Atlanta series (whew), great Pedro and great Crazy Keith (and Gary).

Keith doesn't know his local geography- The shark wasn't at Coney Island, it was Rockaway. But I nit pick-- it's the same ocean, I guess.

I thought Pedro's thank you speech was probably well-meant, but it made me laugh-- those silly minor leaguers might have thought they were there for for some other purpose than helping him rehab. :P

Poor Courtlangus. I was just, um speechless. What would be perfect would be if they could pick up a righthander named Ferrantio.

Marcus McBeth is irresistible, too. When he left after one batter, Gary said Exeunt McBeth, and I said to my mother, "If t'were done, t'were best done quickly." :P

And about Mr. Red. He definitely looks closely related to Mr. Met. How many other guys with basball heads do you know?

I doubt that he would be found dancing at an Indian wedding, though. Just a feeling.