Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Crazy Keith's Corner: Last Night's Leftovers

Well, that was fun while it lasted. But all is not lost, thanks to our enemy who is our friend when they're playing a closer enemy.

At least we still have some fun from last night's game to ponder--and that's without Keith's talk about the Reds cheerleaders, the weight gain of SNY's P.R. person, minor league quality baseball in Great American Park and describing a play with a mouthful of ice cream...

--Keith will bribe a Nielsen family if need be
Keith: A game like this, I'm sure we're racking up the ratings.

--Keith likes his coffee, with an extra shot
(Keith talked about meeting some Mets fans while he was attempting to have his morning coffee at the team's hotel, which lead to this exchange during a pitching change)
Gary: Keith talked about going down for a coffee in the morning, so here's a Venti, Todd Coffey.
Keith: Wow, he's like three extra shots [of espresso].

--Keith is alert, Part 1
Keith: There's a bunch of Red players asleep on the field.
Gary: Good thing we're alert.
Keith: That's because I'm in a reposed position.

--Keith is alert, Part 2
Keith: (Sigh)
Gary: You tired.
Keith: No.
Gary: I thought we needed to get you a cot.
Keith: No, I'm standing up now.

--Keith is bored, Part 1
Gary: And Ruben Gotay walks on the 10th pitch of that at bat.
Keith: Lord, have mercy.

--Keith is bored, Part 2
Gary: I think we have reached the point where Keith needs to be entertained.
(SNY camera shows Keith spinning around on a chair in the booth.)
Gary: He looks like a kid at a luncheonette on that thing!

--Gary and Keith enjoy literature
(After a couple of cracks about getting text messages in the booth, they spring this upon us)
Gary: This game is reading longer than Beowulf.
Keith: Grendel, please come down and devour this field.
Gary: My friend texted me and said he'd give me five bucks if I got Beowulf into the telecast.

(Which lead into a whole discussion of Beowulf and Keith reading it as a high schooler, but I couldn't write it all down because my London broil needed to be flipped over.)

Again, wow. Keith is doing the rest of the games for the season (except the FOX ones) so we're got about 20 games of fun left.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

During Wednesday's game (gag), they went way back into Keith's childhood, featuring him banging his crib across the floor of his parent's SF apartment (somehow not surprising), and later, an absolutely Huck Finn-like idyll in the suburbs.

This came up in response to the promo for today's SNY stickball game (Ron Darling and Omar Minaya to manage). Keith extolled his utter ignorance of all the old street games Gary Cohen reminisced about, gloating that he grew up near "five ball fields."

Gary described Johnny-on-the-pony, and Keith mused, "No wonder you New Yorkers are crazy."

Kevin offered to groom Keith's dog, the presumably spoiled rotten Duncan, for some bet I forget, and Keith responded that the lovely Kai does that anyway, because she has patience.

"Women have patience," he informed us, which it why "it's your Mom who combs your hair before you go out. Your dad just says 'See ya,' but your mom combs your hair and gives you a kiss. Moms are good."

Also more scary insights about John Hernandez, forger of baseball players. He wouldn't let Keith and his brother hit a wiffle ball unless they did it right-handed, because he was convinced the wiffle bat would ruin their swing.

I almost fell off the couch, though, when Gary and Keith mentioned that their wives Lindsey and Kai had gone to a Braves game together, and Keith speculated that there was "nonstop yapping."