Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Zisk Watches the All-Star Game

The Zisk executive staff got together for some brews and chili nachos and watched Tuesday night’s All-Star game. Here’s a list of the Top 10 things we noticed during the telecast:

1) FOX’s Jennie Zelasko is approximately 19 months pregnant.

2) Scooter, FOX’s animated ball that helps explain pitching terms, is more embarrassing to the game than any steroid scandal.

3) Tim McCarver actually makes mistakes--who knew?!? (He claimed that Carlos Beltran was on the DL this season and that Hank Aaron got his first extra base hit in an All-Star Game after 20 years in 1971. Both are wrong)

4) Mark Buehrle is the real voice of "Boomhauer" from FOX’s King of the Hill.

5) A-Rod is obviously gay--did you see those white shoes?

6) According to one of the car ads during the game, “There’s no Japanese word for pickup.” Alas, there’s an American word for that spot--racist.

7) Kevin Kennedy can actually be funny, as evidence of his crack to Kenny Rogers after he pitched, “I don’t wanna shake your hand too hard, just in case.”

8) More players should be miked during games, if for nothing else to hear an exchange like this of the Phillies’ Jimmy Rollins talking to the Marlins’ Luis Castillo. “Where do you open up? At our place? Uh-oh.”

9) The game doesn’t matter to the players if Ichiro gets picked off.

10) No one missed Derek Jeter. Fuck that fuck.

Bring on the second half!

1 comment:

Mets Guy in Michigan said...

10) No one missed Derek Jeter. Fuck that fuck.

YES!!!!! Awesome!About time someone joined me in expressing the glories of an All-Star Game without Freaking Jeter!

Excellent post!