Thursday, April 14, 2005

Hernandez Trumps Wordsworth

"For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils."

-- William "Hell, Yeah, I'd Have Been a Mets Fan" Wordsworth

Last night...Mets vs. Astros...The dog is curled up at my feet, there's a finely chilled can of Natural Ice in my hand, and there are three pitchers duels on TV, chief among them, Kaz Ishii vs. Roger Clemens. I press 'mute' on the TV as my wife comes home and tells me that the bank has approved her small business loan (which gives her the green light to deliver the definitive "hasta la vista" to her nutjob boss). A delicate balance--between man, cheap beer, life, and ball game--has been achieved.

Then I pressed 'mute' again, and the voice of Keith Hernandez fills the room with all the grace of an airborn-pathogen.

What we see on the screen: "Craig Biggio - fielding percentage .993."

What we hear from Keith: "Biggio's fielding percentage is nine- nine-three..."

Or, same game, bottom of the 11th inning, score tied at zero, Keith, to play-by-play man, Fran Healey: "What, Fran? I was distracted."

Thanks for looking out for us, Keith. You and the rest of the Light Bulb Gang (Seaver, Healey) are always there to shatter the best of times. Keep stomping on daffodils, Keith.

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